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rights movement

Just now

I've tried, MANY TIMES, to have civil discussions with MRAs because I'd really like to become an ally. However, the rhetoric dictates that simply because I support equality for women they, by default, hate me and my ideology. I have not been rude, but I've been attacked, preached to about what it is I believe prior to ASKING my actual personal opinion on a matter.I was able to speak with 2 MRAs in my experience who concluded that I am,"Reasonable and fair." to which I was compelled to outline, "I try to be, but trying to be a part of the conversation with your group proves so difficult. Most feminists would also be reasonable if you wouldn't attack them before hearing them out."They agreed that they purposely attack to make feminists feel belittled, to garner a negative response, I'm assuming, to facilitate a response that could be construed as misandry. All of you open with dubious and hostile language made to intimidate even the strongest willed person. Even through that, I try to stay civil, despite being insulted and told how I expect extra space in society without accepting any responsibility which is very untrue. I've discussed with fellow feminists the importance of true equality, that we need to respect the disparity of men's rights in order to be forthright in our message. Very seldom do they disagree with any of the points. It is not ethical to enter into debate by brandishing a mentality of all out attack and it does NOT serve your agenda at all. The only reason I wish to enter is because I genuinely feel that, to achieve equality and understanding, you NEED both sides or else we are placating niceties without discussion or cooperation.Were there times I was forced to block someone from contact? Yes, there were moments that it was very apparent that the only concern was initiating, not a debate, but a hostile interaction, telling me I believe things I never erred to believing, telling me I supported oppression of men, telling me that I couldn't understand oppression, that I wanted to kill innocent babies, etc...Me, who should probably be least of all concerned about "men's issues" because I was served not by Feminism as a child. It was a dirty word used for whores. My older brother hated me. He repeatedly beat me and several times attempted to to suffocate me in my crib as accounted by my half-siblings. As I got old enough to talk I'd tell my parents not to leave, that he was going to hit me if they left. They only ever had to say "Take care of your sister. Don't be mean." which I guess is a forgivable response, kids hit each other all the time. There were several times I had to be rushed to the hospital because I was thrown to the ground so hard I'd need stitches and I was usually covered in bruises which my brother would always tell my parents, "She climbs on everything and falls and bumps into stuff." He even convinced my younger sister to hit me. He would tell her "She deserves it. Hit her and tell her she deserves it." and she would and they would laugh. If I swatted her away he would hit me harder and say "Don't hit her. She's my favorite sister."By the time I was in about the 3rd grade, I learned to try and avoid him. I'd ask my parents to have my half-siblings babysit and then my brother could be free to go out with friends. Sometimes I'd tell my mom when she was home. "M*** hits me. He hits me alot, mom." Her response was "Don't lie to me. Your brother is a good boy." That's what it was living in a half Asian household where the boys were prized and girls were thought of as servants. I later told my dad and he got really upset. He called my brother into his room and pulled out his belt, "You hit her?" and then he turned to me, "How hard did he hit you?" I'd say, "He hit me really hard." and he proceeded to beat my brother with his belt.Afterward my brother didn't even look at me until maybe a few weeks later. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and drawing. He came over and stood over me in front of the coffee table and he said, "Come here.""What did I do?" I asked. I had never been more filled with fear in my life. He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the kitchen and started shouting at me as he held me by the hair. "You want to tell lies? You're daddy's little girl are you?" He asked and then slapped me across the face. I don't even know why I said it but I did. I said "but you did hit me.", I stammered through nervous, frightened tears."What? I didn't hit you!" He hit me again across the face. "I'm hitting you now because you're a liar and if you tell dad any more lies, if you tell him I hit you I'll kill you. Say you're sorry." I said sorry and he stood there, still holding my hair as he stared me down. Finally he let go and walked away, leaving me there."And get me a soda and make me a sandwich." He said as he flipped through the channels. I never told anyone again throughout my childhood, except my mom who didn't believe any of it... and he continued to beat me, ridicule me, tell me how worthless I was. He would regularly tell my how fat I was and go on to say that I should serve him. He would make me make him a sandwich and get him a soda everyday after school. When I would bring it over he would make me kneel in front of him and then he would tell me to kiss his feet. Then he would make me stand to his side while he watched Dragon Ball Z and he would have me do jumping jacks. All the while he would keep telling me how fat I was, that I was worthless and that no one would ever want me because I'm disgusting and even if some guy married me I'd still be "shit" because I couldn't pass down the family name. He told me, "You know I'm doing this for your own good. Nobody wants a fat, ugly woman. Maybe you won't be completely worthless if you aren't so ugly."Once, in the middle of a session of jumping jacks my mom walked in. I thought, 'Thank you! She's going to see what's been happening." Instead she kept walking as she asked, "Exercising?"He responded, "Yeah, she's getting in shape so she's not fat." he turned to me and continued, "You can stop; go get me another soda.""No, my girl is very pretty! All my children are very beautiful!" My mom said. "You keep looking good if you exercise!"I left to get his drink. He opened it and told me to stand there. He spit in it and handed it back to me. "Drink it. That's your reward. You did a good job." I shook my head. He insisted and then he yelled "Mom!Rebecca is wasting soda!""You wanted a soda, drink your soda!" She yelled from the kitchen. The he whispered to me, "Drink it now or I'll hit you."Things like that were pretty typical...but despite all that, I still feel that men's issues need representation, not for "MRAs", but for men, just everyday men who need help standing against gender roles. This though is why I need Feminism. I need it because this happens elsewhere. I'm not going to abandon something that made me realize my strength to placate a flawed ideology. I just want to help where help is needed and not be discriminated against and told that my issues are insignificant.

languages of israel

Just now

What a clever article! It articulates well the latest incarnation of the historical tension between diaspora-negating, daber-Ivrit (speak-Hebrew) Zionism and a certain form of Yiddish humanism born of powerlessness and concern for others...

rights movement

Just now

Yes. So much. 'These putative "men" 'It's helpful to silence a man by questioning his manhood. There are real men, and there are "men". Real men don't question feminists. If they do question feminists, they have a small penis or no penis at all. We signal this by calling them "men". This strategy also calls into question stereotypical male qualities like stoicism and chivalry. Men that don't want to be viewed as weak or as unwilling to rescue women will get in line quickly.We have to be careful when using this strategy, because at the same time we are saying that men must feel free to voice their feelings and that it is the patriarchy that keeps them from doing so. So use a little bit of "not a real man" shaming, but not too much or people will start to see the illogic and hypocrisy.

rights movement

Just now

" There are DNA tests which can resolve issues of "paternity fraud" ask for them before you develop a relationship with your kid. "Men will get hit with paternity fraud over women they never slept with. They put their name down to get benefits and the state comes after them before the test is even done. We could make the policy more fair to avoid this and put penalties on those who abuse the system. In other states so long as you're married you're liable for child support even if she gets knocked up by some other man. These are laws we need to hav changed. It's not as simple as you think.

rights movement

Just now

"Failure to address the far more significant male on male violence that makes up the bulk of all violence reported to police."As long as MRAs continue to defend toxic masculinity, the violence will continue.

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